Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Kiss your babies for Avery

This has been a sad few days for me.
Avery's birthday is tomorrow and I'm having a hard 
time not wondering what she would look like.
Would she be walking?  Would she still have that soft blond hair?
Would she still look just like her daddy, with that little heart
shaped face and perfect little mouth?
What would her little babbling noises sound like?
I miss her more than anything!
She brought so much joy to our lives before she was even here.
But as her mother I shouldn't wish her back.... this 
world is so awful and Heaven is so perfect...
Why would I not want that for her??
Because I'm selfish! I want to hold her, to kiss her soft skin
and most of all just love her.

I wonder sometimes ...  does she see me?
Does she know I'm her mom and  how much I love and miss her?
I used to sing to her all the time, I remember 
thinking I wanted her to know about our Loving Heavenly Father 
even before she was born, if that was possible.
One of my favorite songs to sing was
How He Loves Us  by the David Crowder Band

I just have to remind myself that she is 
happy and singing to Jesus now.

So  all of you mamas who have your 
babies with you, kiss them for Avery and Me.
And all of you mamas who have little angels in Heaven 
I'm praying for your peace and sharing your pain.


  1. Debby,
    My heart hurts for you today. Praying that God brings you the peace that only He can bring. Your loss is one of the hardest to go through. Allow yourself to grieve, but know that God is holding you (and little Avery).

  2. Dear Debby, I love & miss you! There is almost not a Day i dont think of you & my heart does not break. I know you are not a selfish person & wishing for your Baby Girl back! it is not a bad thing. But i hear you on that she is in a better place & singing with Jesus! I really do treasure my little one & i have had some bad depression dealing with the few issues she had. The thought of losing her, not good. But i would not trade her for the world or a one way ticket to Heaven. I really pray that if your wanting that you will have another little one or two soon. NOT to replace Avery Just have little brothers & sisters for her to watch over from Heaven. Too be a Mommy again!! They say it gets easier BUT it doesn't you just learn how to breath in & out again everyday through the pain & hurt. Love you so much, Please know that even though we live in two different world. God Loves You Dearly. Love, your cousin