This has been a sad few days for me.
Avery's birthday is tomorrow and I'm having a hard
time not wondering what she would look like.
Would she be walking? Would she still have that soft blond hair?
Would she still look just like her daddy, with that little heart
shaped face and perfect little mouth?
What would her little babbling noises sound like?
I miss her more than anything!
She brought so much joy to our lives before she was even here.
But as her mother I shouldn't wish her back.... this
world is so awful and Heaven is so perfect...
Why would I not want that for her??
Because I'm selfish! I want to hold her, to kiss her soft skin
and most of all just love her.
I wonder sometimes ... does she see me?
Does she know I'm her mom and how much I love and miss her?
I used to sing to her all the time, I remember
thinking I wanted her to know about our Loving Heavenly Father
even before she was born, if that was possible.
One of my favorite songs to sing was
How He Loves Us by the David Crowder Band
I just have to remind myself that she is
happy and singing to Jesus now.
So all of you mamas who have your
babies with you, kiss them for Avery and Me.
And all of you mamas who have little angels in Heaven
I'm praying for your peace and sharing your pain.